.:* walkin in e rain *:.

Sick Dead

2007-09-09T20:41:00.000+08:00

So sick. Got feverish on Friday night after work. Guess i did not rest enough. Was really terrible when i went to work on Saturday and I am told to go home and rest. Went home and slept till about 3 pm when ah ma came over to pick me and Ai Ping up to go to Ivan's party at his maternal grandparents place. But, ah ma came over and asked me what happened, she saw that I am feverish and asked me to stay over at her place instead so that she can look after me since my parents are busy working. Went to her place and slept the whole day until this morning at 6 am i woke up feeling all better. But, feeling terrible again now after the party that Ivan had at home with his classmates from his kindergarden. It is so noisy, all the children are shouting and screaming and throwing tantrums when they do not get what they want. My headache came back at that moment.

Going to sleep soon now. Feverish.

Only Reminds Me of You

2007-09-07T00:54:00.000+08:00

I see you, beside me
It's only a dream
A Vision of what used to be
The laughter, the sorrow
Pictures in time
Fading to memories

pre-chorus:
How could I ever let you go?
Is it too late to let you know?

Chorus:
I try to run from your side
But each place I hide
only reminds me of you
When i turn out all the lights
Even the night
only reminds me of you

Verse 2:
I needed my freedom
That’s what I thought
But I was a fool to believe
My heart lied when you cried
Rivers of tears
But I was too blind to see

pre-chorus:
Everything we’ve been through before
Now it means so much more

...
Only you...

Bridge
So come back to me
I'm down on my knees
Boy can’t you see...

How could I ever let you go
Is it too late to late to let you know

..only reminds me of you..

No Matter

2007-09-05T23:42:00.000+08:00

Somehow lately, I figured out that girls and boys are not much of a difference actually. Both genders think alike. Both feel that the opposite gender is tough to figure out, both genders feel that they are simple creatures that can be looked through easily which in fact are not towards the opposite gender.

Normally, girls will feel that their boyfriends do not seem to understand sometimes. Naturally, guys also feel the same. The only difference is that girls express their feelings while boys will just keep everything to themselves and eventually erupt one day when he can no longer tolerate.

For me, I always feel that my boyfriend do not understand what I want. Even though he kept emphasizing that he knows exactly what i want. But, deep inside me, I know he do not know, all that he knows are the wrong facts he assumes is right. Sometimes, I definitely enjoys the feeling of being all alone, when no one can control me, when all the time in the world belongs to me and me only.

Phew.

2007-09-03T00:19:00.000+08:00

The Comex is officially over today. But, instead of staying at the show for the whole day, I was asked to return to the office to work instead because of the lack of manpower. It was just 45 minutes after i arrived that I was asked to leave for office. So many people redeemed their theater sets today. Reached office about 1 pm and left about 8pm, due to the closing of stocks.

Came home and played Audition for awhile. Tired. So played for a few rounds with Ghost bbai. Then left and went to play with Sky before coming here to blog.

Shall blog again.

COMEX SHOW

2007-09-02T01:03:00.000+08:00

Oh my gosh. I am so tired from the Comex Show. Though not may people comes around to redeem their items, because not many people bought Samsung printers or LCDs monitors, its tiring because we are so bored. We are all so glad that tomorrow is the last day. But, expected time arrival to reach home is 1-2 am, due to all the stock packing up we have to do. Hope more people buys tomorrow and the stocks can be cleared.

I miss AUDITION so much. Played a little tonight with bbai, before i came here to blog. My standard sucks since i stopped after i started to work. It is definitely true that we have to train for Audition.

Told mummy that i will need a new laptop for school. Decided to get it maybe next month. Perhaps a Fujitsu or a HP one. Have not really decided yet. Told her that I will finish about 1 or 2 tomorrow, she actually thought that I will finish work in the afternoon. So when she told me to come home early for dinner, i gave a shocked look, and she asked me what happened. So i told her i will finish in the AM. How cute can she get. Oh dear.

Having off-days on Monday, Tuesday, and Sunday. Got to bring Sky to the vet on Monday because of his ear infection. Poor baby. How many times must he go to the vet a year. Each visit will cost me at least 200 bucks. Poor baby, how much he suffered these days when I am away to work. I miss him so much.

Is It Really Difficult....

2007-08-29T02:02:00.000+08:00

Is is really impossible to find someone of my dreams. Someone who reads, who enjoy music, who love museums, love the park, love the sky, love the boundless sea, love dogs. It seems almost impossible. Even my dear friend, Rachel also say that the guy I want seems almost impossible. I do not understand why people have to be so straight minded, why they just do not seems to analyse from what they know, do I have to spell everything out letter-by-letter. I am so tired to make known what I want now. I am not going to harp on this issue anymore. I am just going to let it go. If people do not want to learn how to analyse, it is impossible for whoever to be with me. Cause, I know even if he is accepted, the relationship will not be strong.

Tired...

I Think of You by Tata Young

2007-08-28T02:07:00.000+08:00

When I'm down and all alone
When nothing seems to matter
When I lose my hope
When I'm sad and confused

When it all gets turned around and 'round
I can't seem to reach for solid ground
When everything I've believed in seems untrue
All I have to do

[Chorus]
Is think of you
I think of you and it's gone
Like you chase away the storm
Making it all okay
I think of you
I think of you and I'm strong
And I know I can go on
It's like you set me free
When life gets the best of me
I just think of you

Now I know what love means
And whatever life may hold for me
Through the fire
Through the rain I believe

Cause there's nothing I can't bear
Knowing that you will be there
If I fall I won't break
Through it all I'll make it through
Cause all I have to do

[Chorus]

And when I think I'm all alone
I can't see the way to go
Lost in the rain of my own tears
To wash away the pain and fear

[Chorus]

For the good times and the bad times
I just think of you
Cause you know you get the best of me
I just think of you

Complications

2007-08-27T23:11:00.000+08:00

Oh dear. I really do not seems to understandn kids nowadays. Why do they actually bother finding trouble with me when they do not even know my background. Why do they actually do such silly stuffs. How silly can they get. I am ready, I am ready for anything, just throw the stone at my door and I will return with stones.

Started work at Moris today. Well, work is passable. Not entirely enjoyable but met a few great people and made my day work well. Rachel suddenly came back to work after she finish school and we stayed in the office till almost 9.30 pm. Not really tired and I am looking forward to tomorrow's day, to learn HP and open counter hopefully with Rachel since Lawrence is on off tomorrow.

Miss Sky!! I want Sky to come to work with me. I want to go shopping with Rachel. I want to go to the meseum alone. I want time alone. I want to start afresh. I want to do what i want to do most. How many of these wishes can come true..

Babies' Birthday

2007-08-26T02:06:00.000+08:00

Baby Aaron and Ivan's birthday party on 25 August. It is Aaron's actual birthday but Ivan's birthday is on 4th September. Uncle cooked barbeque lamb chop, beef steak from New Zealand, char siew, big prawns from Australia and Ah ma cooked her specialty chicken wings. Delicious is the only word i could describe the food.

Yum Yum~

Baby Aaron and Ivan had such an enjoyable time playing with all the church's friends and refused to sleep early. Ivan had such a great time opening up all the presents and even wanted to open up Aaron's presents too. But Aunt Mac say no and told Ivan that it is very rude to do that. By 10 pm, all the church's friends went home and the family members start to play poker. Aaron went to bed but Ivan was reluctant. He stayed awake all the way to 12 midnight when we left for home.

Yawn~

Babies are really innocent and naive, how i wish time could really go back and let me be a small kid again. When the days are just play, shopping, watching tv, sleeping, eating. How i miss those days.

Only if time is willing to give way...

Romance

2007-08-24T23:51:00.000+08:00

People always tend to think that romance is something which must be bought. But to me, romance is an internal feeling between 2 persons. Everytime we watch some romantic scenes on televisions, for example, a guy setting fireworks for the girl he loves, we find it so sweet, and the concept of romance being bought is somehow inserted into our minds. But, i do not need all these. All i want is someone who really knows what I need, what I want, how I truly feel. If say I am given a normal book, with diary entries written inside dated days when we spend together, i will find it sweet enough. I do not need luxurious items to let myself feel romantic.

I just want a guy which can sit by the beach with me, even without saying a single word, he can sit there and just accompany me. I just want a guy that will walk in the rain with me when we are both upset. I just want a guy that can make me smile at no matter what cost. I just want a guy whom can teach me, debate me, be with me the same cause as I am with him, not just because I love him, not just because I need someone to rely on, not just because I want to be with someone.

Simple but not easy.

When I decided to let go, its always because of a reason. A reason that can no longer hold the relationship in place, a reason that is an important factor for me between 2 persons.

Am I still searching..

For You I Will

2007-08-24T11:54:00.001+08:00

Verse 1:
When your feeling lost in the night,
When you feel your world's just ain't right
Call on me, I will be waiting
Count on me, I will be there
Anytime the times get too tough,
Anytime your best ain't enough
I'll be the one to make it better,
I'll be there to protect you,
See you through,
I'll be there and there is nothing
I won't do.
Chorus:
I will cross the ocean for you
I will go and bring you the moon
I will be your hero your strength
Anything you need
I will be the sun in your sky
I will light your way for all times
Promise you,
For you I will.
Verse 2:
I will shield your heart from the rain
I will let no harm come your way
Oh these arms will be your shelter
No these arms won't let you down,
If there is a mountain to move
I'll move that mountain for you
I'm here for you, I'm here forever
I will be your fortress, tall and strong
I'll keep you safe,
I'll stand beside you, right or wrong
Chorus:
I will cross the ocean for you
I will go and bring you the moon (yeah, yeah)
I will be your hero your strength
anything you need (I will be..)
I will be the sun in your sky
I will let you wait for all times
Promise you
For you I will
For you I will, lay my life on the line
For you I will fight, oh
For you I will die
With every breathe, with all my soul
I'll give my world
I'll give it all
Put your faith in me (put you're faith in me)
And I'll do anything
I will cross the ocean for you (I will cross the ocean for you)
I will go and bring you the moon
Promise you (Promise you)
For you I will, I will, I will, I will,
I will cross the ocean for you
I will go and bring you the moon
I will be your hero your strength
Anything you need, (Anything you need)
I will be the sun in your sky (yeah, yeah)
I will let you wait for all times
Promise you (I promise you)
For you I will (Ooooh)
I promise you
For you I will

I am Back~

2007-08-24T11:33:00.000+08:00

Haha. Alright, its has truly been ages since i ever came back on to blog. But, i just need somewhere i can truly dispose of my anger in regards to the society, blah, blah, blah. How long have i not written in here, i will say as long as i ever started school. Haha.

I started school and ended with my exams like almost 3 weeks ago. Well, school is not terrible except for some minor details, but overall, there are great people in class. Passed all my CAs but not with potentially good grades, the worst is Management with a D+. How terrible can it be, I am so worried for the final results. If i were to fail, i will have to retake and i detest it.

Rachel has finished her attachment at IBM for 2 weeks now, and has started working at Lawrence's workplace. I am going to join her next week. Next week will be a busy week, especially when I am being sent to the Comex Show at Suntec. Oh my gosh, terrible!

Well, I just came back from a chalet in Sentosa Island. It is not too bad, went for the Luge, into Underwater World, visited Dolphin Lagoon, saw the new musical by the sea. Went to Marche for dinner and tried my first Blue Lagoon cocktail. Love the name.

Shall update on my unhappiness the next time. Got to go now.

Birthday~~!

2007-03-13T23:26:00.000+08:00

Officially 19 years old now. 12 March is my special day. I must really thank Rachel for her CUTE present; ELMO. love it so much! and the present from Lawrence, thanks alot. :)

went shopping with Rachel on Saturday. she stayed in Hyatt Hotel for the night with her family. so, i tagged along with her and her mom and brother for the check in. her mom got us buffet lunch vouchers for Hyatt and the food there is fabulous. we went to Suntec to look for Lawrence because he is working at the I.T fair for HP. went to Marina Square for walking around and manicure. we did our nails pretty and had nail art on our thumbs. by then, it is around 8pm and we made out way to Takashimaya to buy some sushi back to the hotel room for dinner. i reached home at about 11pm.

Sunday, went to Takashimaya to collect my birthday cake. volunteered to buy my own cake this year cause i do not want to eat chocolate cakes that mummy will buy for our birthday. went to grams to celebrate my birthday with my family. Grandma bought me a watch because i am going back to school in April and she feels that i need a watch that is proper enough for school and work and play. so, she bought me a Seiko watch; $280. the cake is delicious. strawberry shortcake is the name for it. my sisters love it. but the adults do not really enjoy it and feels that it is a waste of money paying $50 for it. must be our generation gap.

Monday, my birthday. went to SIM to pay the course fees. then, went home. was suppose to meet ms. shi hui but somethings crop up and i have to go over to my gram's place. so, the meeting is postphoned.

shall update again some other time. To0dLeS~!

Looking Back

2007-03-03T21:47:00.000+08:00

Almost 2 months has passed with just a blink of an eye. But no matter what happened, my daily routines still mainly remained the same with abit of seasoning and flavouring every now and then. Letter has been receieved on my side stating that i will officially start school on the 9th April. Hope that school is able to change somethings in my life.

Lets start off with the very first few things that happen after January 14. I broke up ith Zac 2 days after our very first month. Well, guess i just can't take hos attitude of being a good-for-nothing. After all my hopes for him to be on the right track of life, he just threw everything aside right after we broke up and stepped back into the dark society. It is not that i despised those being in the dark society. I am upset with him all because he was in it before once and managed to step out into the light but now went back into the dark again. But guess he really acted and behaved as a jerk on that very last outing.

Chinese New Year is just right round the corner after i broke up with Zac. Everybody is bustling in and out of shopping malls to get new clothes. Me and my sisters are just the same. Though we had bought all the clothes we need, we have to go shopping with grandma and aunts. They had this 700 dollars voucher for Robinson and so we went to Centre Point to do some shopping. Spent like every single cent that very day and we still have to top up with cash. Bought new lingeries and clothes for us all. Me and my sisters spent like 300 dollars just on lingeries itself.

Helped mummy on Chinese New Year's eve. Have to help her at the stall every year but this year just seems more orderly compared to last year. Mummy says the sales for this year is alot better compared to last year. Able to sell like almost $10k of ducks on her stall alone for Chinese New Year's eve. The day before eve she sold like $6-8k of duck. Dad's stall business is not as good as mummy's but comparable. I and 2nd uncle helped at mummy's stall. The twins and grandpa helped at dad's stall. That was really a tired day.

Went to the normal visiting on the 1st day of New Year. Firstly went to grandma house and gave them our very first greetings. Had lunch there before proceeding to my maternal grandma's house for visiting. Always felt awkward whenever i visit there every year. But these year seems so different. Maybe i no longer am the same girl i was in the past. Went to granduncle's place as per normal every year after that to greet all the grandaunts and uncles. Went to my mummy's cousin's place on the next day and to my grandma's place after that. Met Rachel and Lawrence on the 3rd day to Lawrence's house for visiting and mahjong. Supposed to go t Bing Hong's place for visiting but somethings cropped up and we forego that trip. Anyway, we enjoyed ourselves the same.

On the 4th day of Chinese New Year, we had a chalet. Just like a friends' gathering. Though the chalet is not very big, but it has a spacious living room, dining room and kitchen. Its at Changi, Aloha but this chalet compared to the previous one we went was alot cleaner and cheerful. Had some unhappines on the 2nd night but all was resolved by giving each other more space. Took a cab home with Rachel, Lawrence and Joyce on the last day morning.

Then, some unhappiness between Line and me with Rachel. But we all chose to ignore since he has decided to take this move and he believes that it will give him happiness.

Had some misundersandings between me and Ming Yee. She no longer truly know who i really am anymore. She has too much misunderstandings inside me. Too much for me to resolve. The only way out right now is to let time prove that she is wrong about me; to let time tell the truth.

Miss meeting Rachel. She has started her attachment with IBM for a week now. But meeting her really soon.

Had updated on most of the happenings. If i had left anything out, i will update on my next post. Hope it won't be long till i meet all of you again. :)

Wow.

2007-02-28T00:54:00.000+08:00

its has been really long since i blogged. long long before Chinese New Year. and now CNY has already been for i have no idea how long. so much happened. so much that it'll take me time to recollect the situations, emotions and people involved. shall update on whatever happen really soon.

Done

2007-01-14T22:04:00.000+08:00

went shopping with Ai Ping today. went for a movie at 11 am, A Night At The Museum at The Cathay. the cinema was practically empty causing it to be kind of cold. lucky i bought my jacket. it was drizzling when the show ended so we just have to rush over to plaza singapura without shelter. went to m(phosis to look at some bottoms. but do not seem to find any there. so went to Dorothy Perkins to look for some clothes. though they placed up the 50% off sign, the things are practically all almost the same price. they do not sell skirts there. so i just bought a polo tee and a baby top ( $52 ) altogether. then, went for lunch at Gelare. had spagetti, chocolate waffle and peach smoothies ( $24.90 ) altogether. Ai Ping then told me of the shorts she want to get and it is in John Little. went to get it but actually wanted her to get the jumper instead cause it looks so cute. but, she still finds it weird. its okay actually cause its most important that she like it. went to espirit to look for my skirt. but the skirts there all seems so long. feels weird just looking at it. at last managed to find my skirt at Dhoby Exchange. the pants and skirt ( $72 ) altogether. went to Tinkerbell to get a new pair of shoes. bought a new pair of pumps ( $23 ) after a 10% discount. practically spent so much for the clothes this year. do not seems to remember spending so much last year. the only difference lies in the money spent last year was from my aunt and grandma. this year, i practically spend my own money. bought altogether 1 top from Espirit, 1 top from Topshop, 2 tops from D.P, 1 bottom from W.H, 1 bottom from Fox, and 1 bottom from a random shop. done shopping for new clothes. =D

its going to be the 19th soon. which means me and my dar is going to be one month. just hope he changes for the better. truly hopes he know what really comes first.

a long break

2007-01-11T00:51:00.000+08:00

oh my god. it has been like ages since i ever blogged in my blog. i have been back from Taiwan for more then a month and i have not been blogging for as long as i have been away. GOSH! how terrible. hahas. how long has it been? i have already forgotten.

so much happened. Andy disappointed me alot and i mean what i have to say. he totally changed from a guy that makes me feel warmth inside me till a guy which scares me out. he was so sweet, so nice; but became a total devil when i return. something must have happened in that period of time. sometimes, i really wish that i had stayed at Taiwan instead and will never know the fact that he has changed. well, somehow everything have to come to an end. our end was not a very nice one. we ended scolding each other and he ended with a vulgarity sign. well, i could care no less; he is no longer part of my life ever since that very moment. not even a friend to say.

right now, i have a new boyfriend. someone pretty similar to another ex boyfriend of mine. but this one is definitely better than my ex. at least he will care to cool me down when i am really upset over him. today, he told me " dear, i know you care for me. but i can't seem to feel your heart being with me. ". i told myself inside me, if what he say is the truth. but no matter what happens, i really wish that he can become a better member of the society instead of one that people avoids when seen (believe my friends know what i meant here).

Alex messaged me today asking for a patch back. naturally, it is a no. not a second thought. i will never be with someone who thinks he rules and owns the world. no, never ever. if he ever sees my blog, i hope that he can wake up and spend his time actually doing something more recreational like reading.

went shopping with rachel today. did not managed to buy anything. but saw a top at topshop that i like but not love. laugh out loud. did not buy it though. thinking of making a trip down to plaza singapura's Dorothy Perkins for some shopping soon. had MOS at PS for lunch with her, sushi from MarketPlace, some side dishes from random stores and bought dinner to her home. helped her with her school project and played audition while at her place.

___________________________________________________________________

P.S to you know who you are::

i appreciate whatever you have done for me and did for me. really thanks alot. <3

2006-11-29T03:27:00.000+08:00

lalalas. my new creation for my forum siggy.. kekes. nice?

Leaving

2006-11-25T20:27:00.000+08:00

alright. will be leaving for Taiwan on this coming Thursday at 12.40 pm. think i will really miss my friends here though i will be there only for 8 days. will be back on the 7th December night. i will miss maple, audition, friends blah blah blah. hahas.

went out with Rachel and Lawrence on Wednesday to K-box for my farewell. but i will be meeting Rachel on Tuesday again to say goodbye. do not think i am meeting mike kor and eileen up to say good bye though. oh ya, andy as well. wish him good luck on his bike tests. silly andy eventually tried to ask me to stay the other day in maple. hahas. saying i can get someone else to go in my place. though it is furtile but he did make me laugh.

don't know if Darren ever reads my blog. ever since he left me. i know it is definitely time to let him go. because, if i don't, i will never have space for a new one to come in. hope the trip will be a good one, allowing me to forget him.

i know when i am away, i will miss someone badly. i don't know why. is it because of being too used to his presence or is it because of some other reasons. but, i can't deny that i did not cried when he talked to me. i cried alot. well, not as much compared to the amount Darren made me, but, it was a surprise that i will cry because of him.

To rach:: please do take care of yourself. i will bring my handphone along. so, u can sms me if you wan to. i will be able to receive it if the reception is good.

To daisy:: don't miss me too much. =/ i will miss you too. =D

To Mike n Eileen:: be sweet. do not give up.

To him:: i know i will miss you, and my promise to you will forever be remembered.

Different lifes; Same world

2006-11-03T22:20:00.000+08:00

Wonder of any of you know of a website, www.lightamillioncandles.com. A website for saving children lifes from the vicious hands of many pornography lords. All you have to do is to go to the website and light a candle. As of my title for today's entry, Different lifes; Same world. I am talking about these poor children who are forced into child pornography in countries. Not only do these cases happen in poor countries, you'll be surprise that countries like America are also deeply involved in activities like these. I am thoroughly digusted though by the behaviours of all these pornography lords. I believe many have the same thinking as i do.

Just ended my contract with Signature Space. They requested for me to extend my stay till next week. But I know that the extension will be indefinite and so, I put an end to all by saying I will stop today. I will miss Elene though. She is so sweet to treat me to so much goodies today. Bought me lunch and breakfast, tea break and stuff. I will definitely miss her. She is just like a " Mother Hen " like she say it herself. Took my first cheque for 3 days work today and have to bank it in tomorrow.

Going to Taiwan on the 30th November for 8 days. So, if you do happen to look for me, do send me an sms. But, DO NOT CALL MY HOUSE. Thanks. As my parents are not going allow with me and my sisters, they wll be home and will answer all calls. So as to prevent for you and me being scolded, do avoid calling my house unless of course, you are a GIRL. =)

fate

2006-10-24T17:19:00.000+08:00

Let me share a new music with all. Imagine Me Without You by Jaci Velasquez.

When i first heard this song, it did not impress me much until i hear it the second time when i decided to have another go at hearing this new music. Though this song has been out in the market for quite a period of time, i suppose still a number of people are new towards it.

It has been a pretty long time since my last post. I suppose the swing mood of my emotions are currently in my blood. I just miss HIM so much. My computer eventually just easily makes me think of HIM. We played maple together on my computer before, we surfed websites, we chatted on msn. Too much memories are a painful lot somehow. Though memories will still keep coming into my life every single day, HIS will never be replaced.

Friends around me has been having relationship problems. Jordan and Brynner alone are able to give me a good headache whenever i talk to them. They will sound so moody, listless, easily frustrated. So much different from the guys i know in the very beginner. Just hope that they will realise soon enough that being down casted and making themselves being withdrawn are never going to help them in solving the problem. The way to solve problems are to face it and make and end to it.

My contract with Signature Space is ending soon. Really miss it if everything ends. Elene is a nice lady. Always helping me, guiding me. The job is really relaxing, just answering calls if there are calls, water the plants, nothing else. The rest of the time are mine, and guess what i am doing, reading! Its great working there, at least it gave me ample time to finish up my books that i have always wanted to finish but found no motivation in doing so in my daily life.

Uncle bought a Labrador recently. Still a puppy, only 3 months old; and it eventually cost him $2000 BUCKS!!! What a lucky boy to have found an owner like my uncle. He loves dogs, and he trains them well. The new dog's name is MooMoo, to reminise Mochi. We all really miss Mochi alot. Just hope that his new owner treats him well.

Weather has been really bad recently. Lots of people are down with illness. Hope everyone takes care and remember to drink more water.

Lately, a guy jumped down the railway all due to bad attitude from the People. He has a wife and 2 children. If you ask me why he jumped the railway track to end his life, all i can say is due to the negligence the People gave him when he ask for help from them. He needs money to support his wife and 2 children, his wife is sick and his 2 children needs to attend school. Yet, when he ask the authorities for help and support, they turn him down saying that he and his wife are earning enough and are not in the criteria to ask help from the Government. $1400 is all they get per month, paying off bills ( medicine, school, electricity, daily needs ) is it really enough? Medication nowadays are really expensive. So much so that at times, $400 is not enough. Now that he has passed away, the authorities gave pity and gave his 2 children free scholarship for 5 years of studies till his son eventually reaches 20 and is able to support the family. Is Singapore really so "hard-hearted"? Do they have to see lifes being taken off before having actions to help the people? Singapore is not full of the rich. There are still people here that lives on the streets, people here that do not have enough to support themselves, people that work so hard everyday just to let their family have a better life. Yet, all you do is employ people from overseas because their labour is cheap. How about Singaporeans, do they not have to work? You can easily just say " That is due to the fact that Singaporeans are not willing to take up the jobs. ". But, have you thought of why is that so? It is so because the pay is too low for one person to support himself. Prices are going up. But, the pay? Same as before or even lower. Is it fair? Singapore is also full of people who are capable and is able to take up jobs that chances are given to those foreigners whom comes here to take up high positions because they are highly thought to be ALOT MORE CAPABLE. But, if that is so, why are Singaporeans been poached to companies overseas to work? Because they are also able to do similar or the same post and job scope. What is the world really coming to?

Take care all my friends. For we will never know what will happen to us in future. Just treasure whatever you have right now. =) Shall blog again another day.

friday

2006-10-13T01:53:00.000+08:00

today, my friend allowed me to realise that i have changed alot. i really did not realised that. not until today. i became selfish, cold-blooded towards how they feel. i am sorry to have hurt you guys if i really hurt you. it is time i change to who i really am.

well, did the first bet on soccer lately. but i won. that is a good thing. though its just a little winning. but i am happy to just have that.

i am tired already. continue another day then. take care all.

at long last

2006-10-04T04:37:00.000+08:00

its been so long since i've blogged. i have no idea how long but here i am now to do my new entry. lately my mother has been sick, very sick. its been a few days already. but she has not recovered. very bad cough, flu, fever. sky also has been sick. he has got a tummy upset. and me too, a very bad one. made me being unable to sleep till now. sads.

grandparents

2006-09-25T00:19:00.000+08:00

my grandparents are people that i really respect and adores alot.

when i am young, i can really see that they loves me alot. but when i start to grow up, i became more and more distant with them. sometimes, i will even somehow feel that i do not exist in their hearts.

today, i went over to ah ma's place for dinner. ah ma is out from the hospital. but, tears welled up in my eyes when i see her scar on her leg. her blood is clotted and formed dark patches around her wound. its painful.

i just miss those times back there when i am still a kid. i miss her. i love them.

hurt

2006-09-24T16:20:00.000+08:00

i slapped my sister. the youngest one. all because of a sentence she said on impulse. it really pains me to see her cry. it pains me to slap her. but, what done has already been done. all i can do is to make up for it. i hugged her that night after we all calmed down. its the first time i hugged her. i really want them to know that i really love them. i really really do. but what more can i do? i did all i can. i have hurt them too much. i guess.

guess loving someone is not as easy as it is anymore. in the past, it seems so easy to forget a person and bring another person into my life so easily. but why does it seems so difficult now? i think its time for me to face up and put all my feelings to love life than storing it to wait for that certain someone now.

jian sen, though i do not know if you'll ever see my blog. but i want you to know i am really sorry. its been too long since we contacted and its practically impossible to acept someone that seems so distant from me now. maybe in the past, i would. but i am no longer that girl you know. yes, i am still the same Elle that will listen to your problems and give you advices, console you and such. but, i am different in some other aspects. hope you'll understand.

new life

2006-09-18T19:42:00.000+08:00

determined to change my life all over.

" you can still live without love. " by rachel. thanks girl. i totally agree. i have decided to pursue my dream of being a writer. i have decided to go ahead in sending in the aplication form for SPH's courses. though i do not have a good study background, but i guess its my dream, my life, i hold the decision to do whatever i want to.

sometimes, i really wonder why i have wasted my life away. i should have got started in pursuing my dream ealier. but its not too late now too. as long as i have the heart and soul i doing it, i know i can do it. just hope that i will succeed in the interview then i can have the chance to go study journalism in Australia.

go after your own dreams my friends. because one day, you will realise that it is all worthwhile even though you did not succeed. you will never know till you've tried.

chalet chalet

2006-09-14T22:57:00.000+08:00

haha. alright, i am back from rachel's birthday bash chalet. i had my wonderful 2 days nap of rest and feeling really great now. sort of goggy last night because i got woken up half way through. but i am definitely active now. the chalet is not too bad. with 9 of us. 5 girls and 4 guys. mahjong, cards, forfeits through the second night. vcds through the first night for me and shi hui. haha. did not get to drink the forfeit at all guess i am pretty lucky. i think the food was left with only the fat pork lawrence mother bought because the girls were really full and the guys were also full from all the pinching of food while they barbequed.

reached home yesterday about 10 am. shared a cab with joyce. cost about 12 bucks. pack the stuffs up and *bamp* i am down and out on the sofa. slept all the way through till 4.30 when my sis woke me up because my mom wants to talk to me. that sucks actually. i need my sleep. =/ felt goggy all the way till 10pm when i can use the computer at last and that is when i woke up. guess my computer is my source of life. =/

going out tomorrow with rachel for her interview and to get my stuffs from some online sellers. hope the things are really good. looking forward for tomorrow's outing. =) cya all again.

getting ready

2006-09-11T00:10:00.000+08:00

going to rachel's birthday chalet tomorrow. though its one month earlier. but i find it a worthy and special day to celebrate because its exactly one month before her actual birthday. =) got my bad ready, my stuffs, and of cause, myself. LOL. really going to keep the chalet an enjoyable one. though i know its going to be tough for me tomorrow bacause shi hui is not able to make it for the first night due to some personal reasons. just hope she rests well and will come on the second day for the barbeque happily. =) alright. i shall update more on wednesday when i return. hope that dumb-ass unknown aka lynette will never return because, you are not welcome here. =) and for your information if you just so happen to see my blog. i have already paid the full sum for divorcing YOUR keith spencer. =) and i am happy now.

take care all. miss ya.

contradiction

2006-09-06T21:28:00.000+08:00

alright. went out with chee keong today first before meeting up with shi hui and sedric ( i think its spelt this way ) for kor's lion dance competition. went to marina first with CK to check my working schedule and met up with lawrence and jun an to pay lawrence money; and succeeded in persuating CK to go for rachel's birthday chalet. and surprisingly before heading for Takashimaya, i went for a job application at K-BOX. GV's pay is definitely not enough for me to spend and save up for my course. so, its time i change a new one. unless GV is able to accomodate my timing for it as i will be doing up a full time job.

went for kor's comeptition and it started about 7.30. upset because they went out due to the amount of drops they done. but i am not disappointed because they all did their best. at least i know kor did his best. he came up with a new drum beat for the whole dance and i can tell that he is really very upset. heard it from his voice too when i called him. maybe i am wrong, because i thought i saw tears in his eyes before i left.

somehow, i am really agitated by some of the spectators. commenting too much on things that they do not and they have nor right to. the group of guys sitting in front of me and shi hui commented too much. saying that it is good kor's team fell and all. makes me wanting to slam my bag over their faces indicating to them to shut their gaps up.

i just want to tell kor that i am proud of you that you came so far. though things and accidents will happen. but, i am really glad to see u put your whole self into the competition. =) hugs.

simplicity of life

2006-09-01T14:54:00.000+08:00

life is simple. very simple. breathe and exhale. every single living source on earth ( except human ) are actually fighting to stay alive. the trees are fighting to grow taller so they can actually absorb more sunlight for their own food, the animals are killing each other in some parts of the world so they can have food for themselves. but why human are not valuing their own lifes? doing things like murder and crimes that will put their own life at stake. is it really worth it? everyday when you look into the newspapers or you switch on your television, is tere really once that the broadcaster or the papers will eventually tell you " its definitely a peacful day on earth today. "? not once for me. somewhere in the world, a war is outbreaking; if not, someone is murdered or committed suicide. must human be so silly and not know how to value lifes like e other living sources in the world?

went back to secondary school yesterday for Teachers' Day. miss them all so much. seriously. after which me and rachel went to plaza singapura to have out lunch at MOS and we went up to GV to look at a girl. a girl which i felt silly of myself after looking at her. imagine arguing with my ex boyfriend over her. oh my gosh. totally not worth it. way off. went over to new urban to get my VIP card, get my new sandals from twinklebell and was asked to sign up for their membership, went to look at my schedule for work.

rachel asked me " why does people always ask you to join their membership while they'll never asked me? " i was like " how would i know? " haha. laugh out loud. silly girl. they'll ask you one day. not to worry. =)

going out soon. have no idea what i am going to do later on. but just get myself out of the house. don't really want to stay home actually. take care all. update soon. =)

long vacation

2006-08-30T02:25:00.000+08:00

it has been so long. i mean real long. well, lots happened. my character got married in maple. i learned mahjong, though i am still a beginner. so on so forth. still working at golden village now even though i do not like the people there. they are truly biased and realistic. being nicey-ies when they need help and being devil-ies when they do not. dumb asses all of them.

went to rach's place today and ended up in lawrence's place. he is home alone. i wish for that badly too yah. laugh out loud. played mahjong and we had dinner then, took a cab and headed for home with rachel.

know my new hubby lately. keive spencer. really sweet guy. i must truly control my temper now. i have no idea why but i am definitely not very niced tempered lately. i <3>.<

going out tomorrow to the movies and thurs to school for teacher's day. then, going out with rach after that.

alright, i shall post again sometime soon. hope the gap will not be too long. take care all for now. =)

bad dream

2006-08-19T22:03:00.000+08:00

well, somehow some stuffs got over me lately and i am really not myself. where has the positive me gone to?

thought that someone positive entered my life last night. but all was a dream. he left me today because of my temper. i am so silly. maybe i do not deserve to get someone at all. maybe its the work of God that someone who is leaving everything behind does not deserve someone by her side. i am so tired. tired of struggling to get a life. maybe, its just time to give it all up. time to just sleep and never wake up.

clarification

2006-08-01T13:25:00.000+08:00

alright. for any clarifications on any post i actually posted, please do message me to ask. thanks. simon, its true. what i actually messaged you is true. =)

will be going out soon with shi hui, dumbie kor [mike] and ah long [mike fren]. going for another round of facial with shi hui. hope that this time round it can show some effects though. and will be meeting up with mike and ah long for Nacho Libre later on at cathay. hope everything will go on fine then.

got a big surprise today. messaged ah long this morning to let him know the change of venue so he and kor will be notified. and the next thing i know, his "wife" called me. gosh. asking me who am i and all. because i do not know him well, i thought i had actually saved the wrong number when i heard a girl's voice in his number. so i just said wrong number. but she say wait and she ask if i am looking for dino. luckily mike is on the next line and i put him through. so we cleared it all up. explained to her how i got his number and all. she sound so much like a bitch. i did not like her at all. gosh. she sound so much like another Cindy i know in e past. and coincidentally, this girl here is called Cindy too. is Cindy-s = bitches? laughing out loud. alright. maybe just her and her. claiming to be his wife when he actually treat her as a girlfriend. well, maybe its just a delusion.

hopes

2006-07-26T03:57:00.000+08:00

well, i just hope that it is a new beginning for me and Alson. started with Alson today. but i do not know whether this relationship will end. because, problems seems to be arising. but i am ready to say sorry if i am at the wrong; i suppose. just hope that he is able to know i am trying to put in some effort into this of course. but, i do not know how long this can last because i know my energy will run out somehow. well, just hope that all will go well at least for awhile now.

alright. today is my off. tomorrow is my off. thursday is my off. friday i will be working mid-shift and most probably outside at night with shi hui and simon. and working night shift on saturday. gosh. but i am lucky to have my off on sunday.

going to have my hair cut tomorrow. so that i do not have to tie my hair up at work and look like a darn nerd. opps. alright. stopping here right now. nights all.

a new dae

2006-07-24T19:49:00.000+08:00

haha. i really wonder sometimes in life why people really has to delude themself and do somethings which thay have no thoughts of doin so in the very first place. lets take Emrys for example. well, he is a good friend; not a good boyfriend. definitely. why. because he is too much for a normal girl to handle. he has too many girls surrounding him and this gives his girlfriend a very insecured feeling.

lately, i have been asking myself this question : am i supposed to be with someone that i love or with someone whom i know he loves me and is able to take good care of me. i have always believed in the first one because i always thought that it is a decision that will keep me happy and going in life. but maybe the second one is right in the end. i have no idea. maybe i should just try it out yah? =) laughing out loud. silly me.

Alson also contacted me lately. going out with him for a movie on wednesday. because its his birtday. and he actually called and suggested that to me. oh gosh. but anyway, i gave my promises and i will be there. will be catching a movie most probably a late one; or else we will be doing my first time visit to a club. he suggested that though. haha. but i guess i managed to push down that suggestion because of my stubborness. gosh. laughing out loud.

work has been pretty fun but bored recently. i took medical leave today. because i was too tired and of cause i am not feeling well. seriously. but the youngsters there are really nice. the young ones are all my age so we kind of get along pretty well except for one. i just hate her. what a bitch. trust me when i call her a bitch. has not really got to know her name yet because i guess i really did not care. sweet.

___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

this part is dedicated to rachel.

girl, you know that we all care for you. it has really been a long time since we have not met up and really enjoyed ourselves because too much things happened. i really hope that all these waves will eventually just calm down for the both of us; and eventually we can have a couple date like we always hoped for yeah. girl, i really hope that everything can be turned back to the time we were in Carrefour. don't you think so? just miss those times so much. *sighs*

after so long

2006-07-16T05:08:00.000+08:00

so much things happened after so long. i got emplyed in Golden Village and i got to know some new people. girls esp. but it seems to me that the whole crew seems to be older than me. laughing out loud. so much things happened. not physically but mentally and emotionally. so stressed up. i really need a break from everything. i have to stop what i am doing every night now. i have to re-life myself again.

maybe i should just disappear myself for sometimes. let myself become immune for sometimes before picking myself up again. i am really tired. really tired. but who cares? I am NO longer the MOST important person in HIS life anymore.

confused

2006-07-02T05:18:00.000+08:00

met purple, shi hui and reeve yesterday at far east. walked down to heeren with them and i left them at 7pm. got to rush home for dinner before 8pm. because mom is cooking. and i have to leave early because of the jam orchard is giving. ate dinner and slept darn early last night because i am really tire out. calls came in but i am really lucky i kept my phone silent. or else my mom will really and trylu skin me off. gosh.

conferencing right now. with 2 other guys. emrys and andrew. not too bad. alot better than someone i ever conferenced with. he kinda suck. now to think of it. he is really childish. =) alright. time to stop and back to the phone. morning people. *hugs*

gosh

2006-06-28T05:09:00.000+08:00

omg. i seems to be having STMsssssss now. can't remember a girl from my primary school and yet the rest of my old classmates actually know her. surprising. and she actually know me. that is soOoO sweet. do not have the actual mood to continue my maple. it seems like everything is so darn slow. and i am so darn tired. did not sleep at all. can't fall asleep. gosh. i need a good run. serious. then i'll be tired and just slam right on bed. =) nice.

today

2006-06-26T02:23:00.000+08:00

well, went to Marina Square today with Johnston for Silent Hill. the show kind of suckie. but his company is entertaining. so everything is not too bad. met jimmy and he has changed his job to singtel. dumbass. got his number again. LOL. lost his number the other time. so surprised that he is able to recognise me.

ok. i do not know what to say. except that life is short and we really should treasure it. really feel sorry for kieve. i just feel that everything somehow seems to be too short for him. feeling so dark and heavy now. =(

fuck

2006-06-24T03:23:00.000+08:00

Everything has to come to an end. Including my life with my family. When I try my best to do something, she says that it is not needed. But when I do not do it, she says that I am lazy and I am neglecting my responsibilities. Fuck. What the hell she wants from me? Expect me to read her mind? Who the hell she thinks I am? Tarot card reader or brain analyser? Giving me attitude and everything. What? I am not the family slave alright? Keep complaining that my phone bill is too much. Saying “you are not the one paying for your bill. Of course you do not feel the pinch.” But when I tell her that I’ll pay for it myself, she says “are you very rich? Grow up already huh?”. What the hell she wants from me? I am practically the one doing everything at home. Doing whatever she wants because I want her to come home and feel really comfy. And all I ask for is just 100 bucks for my bill. Too much? How about my sisters? About 40 bucks a week = 160 a month + 40 bucks phone bill. 200 bucks. Me? I just ask for 100 bucks. Too much? I hardly take money from her since I have stopped schooling. How much I take a month since I have stopped work? About 70 bucks a month? Lets talk about the youngest sister of mine. She is taking about 20 bucks from my mom every time she goes out. And during the holidays, she is going out almost everyday. Lets talk about the ez-link. I use my own money for it. They take extra money from my mo for it. Fair? Talking about fairness to me? Have they thought of whether I want to come to this world when they gave birth to me? Have they asked my permission? No. I AM FORCED. I feel totally dumb. One of these days when I am totally over with them, trust me, I will not even be at home in the night. Calling me rebellious. If I truly am rebellious, do they think I am still who I am now? Do they think I will be home early? Do they think I will still do the housework? Do they think I will ever tell them I want to study? Rebellious. THIS IS NOT THE WORD FOR ME. Damn it. Gambling and losing money and the fault and anger is all taken out on me. I DID NOT TELL YOU TO GAMBLE. I DID NOT TELL YOU TO PLAY. It is not my fault. Shucks. This family is so gone sooner or later.

o0o misses o0o

2006-06-13T23:41:00.000+08:00

wow. went out today and i am just home. went for a movie with ming, and i miss her lots. gosh!! she slimmed down so much. but she is perfect now. very pretty. =) we went for a movie at Cineleisure. the movie is " She's The Man ". its definitely something great. really really nice. the show is so hilarious, the whole theatre practically laughed altogether. and we even applaused for parts that are totally whiff off. so nice.

went to PS after that to meet rach and xueyi. then, we went to the arcade. played DDR and nicholas came along. he was doing freelance drawing. then, rachel went off with xue yi which eventually left me and ming so we went to golden village to look for the girls that i have not met for a long long time.

left for kovan to meet amy for dinner did not know where to go. so we decided to try the new HK restaurant. never been there before, but the place is really cosy. i n amy had spaggetti, ming had fried noodles and amy's bf had wonton noodles. then he left and the girls are left behind. talked about everything. haha. and i even gave her my MOS free pass for 2. she was so happy. =) going to have another meeting with her, rach and ming again on next thurs. cool. cant wait for it. we ended up with an ice dessert even though the air conditioning is already very cold. but the dessert is all the more tempting. we are not able to resist it. oh my gosh. we ordered one because it is really big and we really enjoyed it. gossiped till 10.30 and we asked for the bill. its not too expensive. so its not too bad. looking forward for the next gathering. we really should have it once every month.

family

2006-06-12T11:08:00.000+08:00

my family. lets talk about them today. i always thought that i am a wastrel in it. and so nobody cares about me. but i am wrong. today, my mom called me. she told me to do up all the housework before she comes home. and i know something is wrong because she sounds really moody. then, she asked if i slept early last night. i said yes because i slept at about 9pm. really early. then, she told me. " means you didn't hear me and daddy argue ar?" i was so surprise and say " why your argue?'. the next think i know, i hear her crying. this is the second time i know she is crying. she is a strong woman. she is someone i can always depend on. then, she told me that daddy is having affairs AGAIN!! and she tell me that it is all over. i do not know what to do. all i did was to tell her not to cry. but yet, i am crying as well. why can't my dad change his ways. i know that this woman is from compasspoint. i hate that place. that place sucks. FUCKING HELL. that place caused all my trouble.

apologies

2006-06-10T11:09:00.000+08:00

the westlife song could not be recovered. something is wrong with that format. =) anyway this song is just as good i must say. an old but yet beautiful song. a song which evokes memories in many of us. and it'll lingers in our hearts through the years like it did in mine. hope you all like it. enjoy yah..

saturday

2006-06-10T01:20:00.000+08:00

this is ivan. he has defnitely grown up from a little boy to a little big boy. haha.

this is a new picture of sky recently wearing my mom's spectacles. cute yah??

its a new song here. well, this song made my tears crumble when i first heard it. kind of a very romantic song. and the lyrics are totally true. love is not only through the words but also through the actions. hope you all like the new song.

did not blog for yesterday. was thinking through what i should do. and i have decided to make my first move. i am looking for a job. not in a hurry of course. but i am looking for one.

my computer speaker has got some problem yester day and it did not give me the enthusiasm to continue training my maple. but now its ok. dumb me. i pressed a button and it all went off. toot.

world cup starts today. Darren wanted to watch it. but too bad, he is in the army. so he say he'll try to get the updates from the papers. =)

i can't stay at home anymore. i need to get out. i think i'll really go crazy if i continue staying home. i have been locked at home for like 2 days. oh my gosh. luckily i am going out with ming on tues and rach on another day. miss them both alot. =x

memoirs

2006-06-07T21:15:00.000+08:00

this is what you gave me and what i gave you on May 18.

i like it alot. thanks dearie.

thou its over but you'll forever be someone that leaves a big impact in my life.

i love u. <3

dead

2006-06-07T04:25:00.000+08:00

nothing to do at all. it just sucks. supposedly going out with mum today but she has to work last minute and everything just screw up.

alright. no more blogging today. headache. i am definitely not myself today. suckers.

was

2006-06-05T05:42:00.000+08:00

it was a sunday today. if i remember correctly. i only woke up at 5.30 pm. rachel called me up at 2 pm. but i was in my dreams. and the very next thing i know. she is crying over the phone. my gosh. i truly felt that she is going through alot of stress. and i mean alot. it is really the first time i see her cry over her papers. when we were doing our o levels, she managed to pick herself up after all the turmoils she went through without crying. but now she is. and i am very sorry and upset over the fact that i am not there with her when she is. sorry girl. sorries. but i'll pray for u to do well. and i know you can. because i can see the effort you are putting in. silly girl, don't cry anymore alright? cring only disturbs your thinking and your confidence of you being able to do well. because it tells you that you cant. but we all know that you can. miss you lots. * hugs *

see, sky is here for u too.

went to grams place for a big dinner. everyone was there except for Ian's mom. we had braised duck which we did not had for ages and curry fish head. they even made sushi. but i truly finds it not tastable. went home about 12. played maple but it totally sucks. had the party quest in the new world but the members truly made me so upset. i can say that its the first time ever i am upset over a game. suckers. forget it.

* sometimes things are there though it appears not to be *

singapore idol

2006-06-01T23:48:00.000+08:00

wow. Singapore Idol's first 2 to enter the top 12 is out. oh my gosh. Paul Twohill is cool. i love his singing. i voted for him once as well. =) hope he is really able to go through as long as he gets better each time he performs. goodie luck.

went to the movies today. watched The Nun with him. a spooky background. but the story ended abruptly. he told me that its meant to be this way. but i somehow find it stupid. the ending sucks. they should give a whiter ending and not make people smoke it with their own thoughts. the next time when i go to the movies. i will definitely choose a cinema in the town area. the stupid audiences there really sucks. kept kicking my chair. and the young kids next to me kept mumbling and laughing. i just can't seems to get what they are getting. maybe in future if the show is not NC 16 or M 18 i'll not catch it in e cinema. i will rather buy the dvds for it. bad experience.

had swensens for lunch. and bought the tickets fot the weekend movie in case we are not able to get any on saturday. came home and slept all the way till the results for Singapore Idol is out. don't think i can sleep early tonight anymore.

miss rachel alot. miss going bowling with her. miss shopping with her. ger, no matter what happens, it will all be over and things will definitely get better than before. trust yourself like all we do. =)

thankiex

2006-05-30T23:38:00.000+08:00

this entry is for Rachel!!!!!!!

thanks girl for being here with me. and i must tell you that i really appreciate what you have done for me. i love it lots!! really touched and surprised that you did a video for me. my tears came out and i am telling you the truth. thanks alot. love ya and we ARE sisters for life. =) miss ya.

p.s. take care k. let me know if anything goes wrong. which i hope not. and the K-box session is on yah. worse come to worse it'll be down to u, me n your lao gong. =)

monday

2006-05-29T23:10:00.000+08:00

people always say that monday is a day when all will feel really upset and tired. that is why we have it called as " Monday Blues' ". all due to the Sunday which is just before Monday and everyone is having a whole lot of fun during their off day from work.

at last i have called HP up in regards to my bluetooth mouse. only been a month and its down. pathetic. made an appointment with them and they will eventually send a new mouse over on Wednesday as i requested.

the maids came over today with ah ma, ivan and baby aaron. what a cutie-pie. kept looking at the lights when he came. babies are just so so so fascinated by bright lights, sounds and funny faces. went to Hougang Green with ivan because aaron has to sleep but ivan is making lots of noise. went to MacDonalds' to get a breakfast meal for him. went to the bookshop to get a book for him. and we went to the supermarket to get some stuffs. ivan is really a darling when we went out. he is not mischievous and really behaved himself well. love him lots.

knew some new friends lately. and there is even one that is currently studying in Malaysia. kind of glad that i know them. wish them all well. =)

suppose to meet Darren up today. but due to the cleaning up that is going on at my house we have to postphone it till tomorrow. but suddenly he told me that he have to attend the graduation ceremony tomorrow and we have to postphone it to Wednesday. miss him alot though.

* sometimes the past is just a mirror of the future and the key to the present *

saturday

2006-05-28T03:17:00.000+08:00

stupid. wanted to go town and catch DaVinci Code but the tickets are sold out. oh my gosh. the movie is suppose to start at 5.30 pm and i went to buy the tickets at 3.30 pm. but its sold out. my sisters are so disappointed. so many people at orchard today all due to the Great Singapore Sales. even LV at Takashimaya is crowded. gosh. went to Delifrance to have some bites and to Kinokuniya to get a book for myself.

i want to get so many things. no matter during the sales or not. i just wan to get them.
- Tiffany necklace
- LV shoes
- LV and Guess wallets
- N80
- New Urban Bag
so many things and yet so little money. time to save up. i know i can do it.

been feeling alot better today. at least i am not cryin almost everytime i do something that reminds me of Him. thanks rachel for always being here for me. love ya. =)

today

2006-05-26T20:04:00.000+08:00

sometimes.

someday.

somehow.

someway. i can get over all the unhappiness.

i am too tired to think. lately. all i have been doing is just maple with-think of-cry for-talk about HIM. my mind tells me to just stop being stubbornly foolish. but i know i am a heart person. not a mind person. i know i have to move on. but i will not give up. i will get on in life. but i will still wait for you. i will control my emotions. but i will not be able to stop the tears from rolling. i do not want you to get worried for me. i do not want you to be upset because of me. i want you to know that i love you. i just want to be with you.

simple.

easy.

trouble-less. way out. death.

beaten

2006-05-25T21:32:00.000+08:00

i am done with everything. i am tired. too tired. if heaven's going to continue The Big Joke on me, i will surrender right now. i can do nothing to salvage the whole situation. nothing at all. nothing i can do to save MY relationship. i cannot believe it at all. now i know how it feels like to be really cast away by someone you love. this feeling sucks. what ming say is correct. she told me to move on. i know i have to. but i can't seems to bear to. i can't just pretend that nothing happened to us the past month. i hope i can. i know i have to be strong. stronger than i am now. but. all the false front i have put up. is to assure you that i am ok. i do not want you to worry. don't worry. i will grow up one day. i am growing weak. sick lately. but i do not want to see a doctor. i am afraid of bad news. i cannot afford to be sick. i will rather die unknowingly than know when is the end for me. i live in the world of dreams. therefore wish for perfectness. perfectness in love. care.concern.romance.sacrifaces.courage. remember those times when we were once so happy and all this come so suddenly. is it time for me to give up on you or myself?

day 1

2006-05-25T14:15:00.000+08:00

i could not sleep. could not eat. could not control myself anymore. could not keep my eyes wide open, it hurts me to do so. drank orange juice. watched television. start thinking of you. the times we had together at my house. the times we shopped together. my tears just wants to keep rolling. my heart is no longer in a piece. my mind wants to just break down and go for a sleep that lasts forever. all i want is you being back with me. i can't take the fact that we are over. i can't accept that fact that we are through. I love U. missing you isn't as worse as you no longer by my side...

all over

2006-05-25T02:40:00.000+08:00

went out with darren todae.. we wanna stay out de.. but nw im home.. we jus broke up and i was cryin like hell.. hmm.. dunno wad to do.. i really don wana leave him.. but he seems not ready to budge.. he seems certain bout e break up.. don wanna worry rach.. so i din tell her..

sorry rach.. i don wan u to lose ur slp.. i'll tell u tml de.. haiz..

feelin so listless.. so lost.. he broke all his promise.. every single one of them.. hope im ok and ready soon..

stupid me.. silly me.. i hate myself..

sian

2006-05-23T00:48:00.000+08:00

hmmm.. todae dearie went out with his pri sch frens.. until now still nt home.. hmm.. miss him alot alot alot alot alot.. haiz.. but we are goin to hab out very first chalet le.. keke.. jus me and him.. thou i hab tis feelin tt its gonna be a pretty short one.. cos its onli a dae.. but aft e chalet, we book out le we comin to my place and we gonna watch a movie.. haha.. cant wait for it to come.. keke.. hope deari gets home soon and charge his phone.. miss him alot.. haiz..

hopeful

2006-05-21T06:27:00.000+08:00

i hope u all like tis new song up.. its sung by Jesse McCartney.. he is a new singer for Walt Disney but he has plenty of on stage experiences and he is somewhat like Click Five.. a singer famous aft a long while.. =) he was from e boys band, Dream Street.. a 5 boys band.. all about the age of 17!!! OMG.. Jesse is e youngest, 15.. and all of them can dance so well.. their group was out ages ago.. and they even sung a Pokemon song in USA.. hmm.. Jesse shud be 22 nw ar.. nt too sure.. nv go check.. but rem to check out Dream Street videos on youtube.. u can see all e 5 boys dancin.. and im tell u tt they are no noobs.. i can actually say they danced beta den some dance groups nowadeas.. OMG!! e new MV i put on my frenster is a song they sung ( dream street ).. go check it out kk.. kinda sad song ar.. u can don see e video de.. LOL.. haha..

i hate myself

2006-05-21T04:17:00.000+08:00

hmmm.. todae din manage to lv.. hmm.. nvm.. e chalet may smehw be unsuccessful.. rach.. u wanna go chalet during ur hols ma..? haha. if wan i can tell my fren.. LOL.. den we open chalet for ourselfs onli.. haha.. so end up me n dear dear may have to book a hotel room if e chalet is nt possible.. cos i really wanna spend more time with him.. miss him so much ar.. haiz.. wan to see dear dear on mondae kk? hmmm.. was lookin for some really cool hotels online.. and i bumped into some.. haha.. its like.. there's one near orchard.. hmm.. a swiss-cottage like boutique.. haha.. very peaceful lookin.. quiet hotel.. with bout 32 rooms onli ar.. kinda cute.. haha.. and another one in chinatown.. call " e inn at temple street " a paranakan style hotel.. and e room is damn cosy ar.. hmm.. both oso pretty cheap.. nt ex de lo.. hmm.. so nw gotta see which one has got room for us.. LOL.. i kinda like e chinatown one beta.. but i seriously hope it'll be a great room.. haha.. mayb me n dear should go rd lookin.. hmm..

idiot.. alex called.. den thaniel bugged me at night aft dear slp.. hmm.. haiz.. irritating ar.. fcukers.. jus hate them!!

19 may 2006

2006-05-20T00:20:00.000+08:00

tis mornin.. wake up.. mom scold me liao.. den its like.. she wake me up frm my slp.. den when i stand at e door.. she sae " don let e dog in.." den i close e door behind me.. e next thing i heard is her naggin and im tired n wan to slp.. i cant imagine if i were to go to e livin room to slp.. she will nag like fcuk.. so i went back to my room.. head giddy giddy den toally forget tt ah ma n e maid is comin over to tidy e house.. den i jus slp.. at 9.30.. my mom called me n shout.. sae y i nv open e door for my ah ma.. i was like slpin.. n gong gong.. den she jus keep scoldin ar.. haiz.. sian.. den i hab to do all e housework.. its like.. iron all e clothes, change all e fish tank water, mop e floor ar.. i settle all by 12 lo.. haiyo.. its like when e maid is here.. she can start from 9.30 and finish at 3.30.. wth.. i settle things faster den her ar.. might as well i do right.. fcuk..

den aiping came hm and we went to CK Tangs with gu-gu, ah ma n ivan.. haha.. tt notti boi.. so mischievous ar.. muz scold one lo.. haiyo.. he don wan to walk properly.. den its like CK Tangs is so crowded ar.. i ask him.. " u wan jie jie to b angry izzit..? u wan to walk properly and hold my hands or not..? " den he scared he'll gt lost and sae yes.. haha.. den went to ah ma house.. watched e borrowed DVD " e passion of the christ " haha.. omg.. its blooddie n cruel la.. omg.. ate dinner n came hm..

hmmm.. todae din really tok to dear dear cos was nt hm e whole dae.. den when he was playin maple, im at orchard.. hmm.. miss dear dear lots lots.. muacks..

happy

2006-05-18T19:30:00.000+08:00

haha.. todae is me n dearie's one month.. hmm.. a pleasant one.. haha.. peaceful and nice.. LOL.. we went to J8 for a movie cos dear had not been there before.. think he is kinda disappointed in e small complex ba.. haha.. but bo bian.. J8 is actually kinda small de ar.. more of a neighbourhood centre.. haha.. went to watch " The DaVinci Code " haha.. i love it.. the trillers and stuffs.. e rushness and e history of Christ.. nt too bad.. but.. i oso dunno its true anot.. haha.. thou i hope it is.. cos e show says that " Jesus is just a normal human being..." haha.. ppl out there.. if u nv watch.. go watch okok.. haha.. its a nice show.. =)
but, don go to e J8 one.. go somewhere futher.. even if u hab to go to yishun.. jus go.. cos J8's cinema is not very good ar.. hmm.. regretted goin there with dear todae.. e seats are like so flat and gt nth to walk.. hmm.. next time, dear, we go to e one in bugis kk? =)

nichole sms me and tell me tt i'll gt my philips pay in my bank by mon.. haha.. yippie!! LOL..

our day

2006-05-18T01:34:00.000+08:00

yippie.. dear dear.. we one month le.. haha.. yippie.. hope we'll have mani one months, one years ahead of us yah.. =) i love u.. muacks..

haiyo

2006-05-18T01:26:00.000+08:00

hmm.. rach.. don be sad le ar.. i don feel good seein u upset.. its like e atmosphere is wrong.. hope to see u soon yah.. miss you lots..

todae went for dinner at uncle's restaurant.. so much food lo.. wth.. we one whole family gotta divide into 2 tables and its like each table hab their own set of food and e whole set is e same la.. we start off with oyster from japan.. lol.. damn big and its damn nice.. haha.. den we hab some kinda clam meat.. which i forget its name.. one whole plate.. LOL.. den we hab crabs from australia.. those white shell one.. damn nice n sweet.. omg.. i don like crabs cos of its shell BUT i love tis one.. haha.. heard frm them sayin tt its like 100 per 1kg.. den we hab some normal dishes.. den we hab smoke salmon n fresh salmon.. i think rach will love it man.. so much ar.. e fresh one is like so nice.. hmm.. but my family hardly touched e salmon cos they don eat.. den left alot.. ( if onli rach is there..... ) den ended up with a bowl of abalone.. its e first time i ate tis kinda abalone.. its like mixed with sweet and sour vege.. nt too bad ar.. very appetising.. haha.. den end up.. we hab to packet up e salmon, e clam meat up.. so ah ma can bring home.. LOL.. so much food ar.. so much left over.. haha..

e adults sae we goin to malaysia.. hmm.. on next thurs.. 25.. its like i wkin on tt dae.. but mom sae ask me nt to wk.. cos if i don go.. i'll really b e onli one left in singapore and she don wan tt to happen.. wtf.. so i hab to go.. but all is nt confirm yet.. haha..

stupid

2006-05-16T23:58:00.000+08:00

haiz.. stupid.. rach got so much things happenin to her.. hmm.. jus hope that she will be all fine n jumpin again when i see her e next time.. hmmm.. jia you.. u can pull thru all tis de..

ray called when i was plain maple.. LOL.. haha.. told rach and she ask me hu izzit.. i told her e guy tt i broke up with on my last yr bdae.. haha.. den she was like.. " oh.. tt nerd.." haha.. LOL.. scary lo.. haha.. suddenly called me up n sae tt he still like me.. hu will believe tt shit man.. haha.. i was like okok.. okok.. haha.. entertaining him lo.. so damn obvious la.. LOL.. haha.. den he noe i hab bf.. he was like LL.. haha.. idiotic sia.. wad a dumb ass.. haha.. i'll definitely not leave my dearie de lo..

love u dear... =)

i love you

2006-05-16T05:07:00.000+08:00

keke.. dear dear is back.. hmm.. msg me in e mornin.. stupid me.. being so freakin paranoid last night.. made rach worried.. sorry ger.. hmmm.. kinda silly right..? hmm.. but happi tt dear is back from KL and we are goin to meet up later on le.. =)

maple lv 39 le.. happi.. haha.. soon will b 40.. =)

rach.. u wan go gym ma..? i gt one fren.. she is california fitness member.. den she can bring ppl go in for free de ar.. but onli for 2 weeks i think.. i nt too sure.. i wan go see see ar.. u wanna come..? hmm.. tell u e details over e phone if u r interested yah.. =)

mothers' dae

2006-05-15T01:36:00.000+08:00

well well.. its mothers' day today yah.. hmmm.. woke up at onli 3 when rach called me cos i slept at 7 in e morning.. LOL.. haha.. aniwae.. went to HM to meet rach, jordan n their mom.. rach paid for her mom's classic manicure.. looks nt too bad.. hmm.. mayb i should gt mine done too.. haha.. LOL.. not nw la.. if nt later i work.. all gone case again liao.. haha.. den hopin to gt miss congeniality 2 vcd.. but it seems impossible unless i gt e dvd which i do no need cos its nt tt IMPT.. hmmm.. sian half lo.. got myself a new hairband lest my hair starts goin all over my face and some cakes n tarts from hans before goin hm.. their cake there isn't too bad ar.. but e shop in yishun is much much beta quality.. hmm.. its their HQ no matter wad.. LOL.. haha..

went to grams place for dinner.. hmm.. alot of food.. mommy n daddy bought their duck n roast pork.. uncle bring his chilli crab from his restaurant.. ah ma cooked up fish, steam egg, vege.. sumptous dinner.. thou its a simple one.. but.. its really delicious.. haha.. mayb cos i din eat anything till dinner ba.. LOL.. haha.. den we watched I Not Stupid 2 and we cut e cakes and e adults went to play poker till like 1.15 den we came hm..

dear dear sae he shud b back tonight or latest tml morning.. ( info frm his bro ).. hmm.. saw his msn on n tok to him.. hw wud i noe its his bro.. so he told me he will b back onli later.. miss u lots lots ar.. goin one month le.. hmmm.. pretty fast hor.. and even sooner before we noe it.. u are goin NS le.. hmmm..

wkin at e food fest or fair or feast next week.. hmm.. frm thurs till mon.. hmm.. 25 start i think.. haha.. goody.. den aft tis.. i can find other jobs le.. hmm.. at least.. when dear is in army.. i hab sth to do n nt keep thinkin of him.. hmm.. at least.. e emotions can b controlled beta when im workin.. but im sure i'll still b missin him like nuts thou.. haiz

sick sick sick

2006-05-13T22:48:00.001+08:00

had an enjoyable day ytd with rach n law.. haha.. we went bowlin n we had 2 rounds each.. but e process kinda sucks cos of some pathetic reason.. firstly is that rachel seems to be unable to concentrate on e game.. i think its cos of e stupid library tt is closed ytd n made rach disappointed and her "thingy".. secondly its cos of some ppl tt played e next lane of us.. they were rude.. they din noe e courtesy of bowlin n is like made me kinda sian.. wanted to leave aft e 1st round cos of them but i changed my mind cos of rach's persuasion.. den we went to plaza singapura to gt my lanyard and law went to gt his mom's mothers' dae present.. we oso went to e-zone for some fun.. but.. there were so mani ppl there ytd and made e whole place so stuffy n warm.. keepin rach very very irritated.. and we din do well in e game.. some more.. my tummy hurts.. haiz.. den we went over to law's hse for "dinner" with dumplings.. haha.. i onli hab one cos of my tummy.. den went hm in a cabby with rach.. haha..

haiz.. todae wake up.. still nt feelin very gd.. ytd i thot is due to me nt slpin well.. but i fell asleep last night at 10.30 and woke up at 9.. i still nt feelin well.. haiz.. wonder wads wrong.. e intestine seems to be pullin in 2 directions.. makin it hurt.. haiz.. pain lo.. wonder where's dear.. hw is him.. haiz.. lucky tml night he come hm le.. if not.. i think i'll nt b able to rest well ar.. haiz.. hao xiang ni..

tis mornin wake up.. played maple.. den lv to 38.. ok la.. changed to fairy wand.. wanted to change to moonlight.. but its like e stats is e same as my own amoria top.. so jus leave it lo.. =p wait till e next one den change ba.. cant wait for lv 40.. wahaha.. den can do more quest n wear new clothes.. went to ossy todae.. cos vic like very sian.. hmm.. so go there do quest.. gt alot of same scroll nw lo.. hmm.. haha.. but i hope tt wadeva i use.. it'll pass.. * pray pray *

missin u

2006-05-12T00:05:00.000+08:00

gosh gosh gosh.... im missin u like crazy... i really wonder hw m i gonna make it e next few daes without u by my side.. haiz.. everydae at tis time.. u r playin maple with me.. helpin my level.. haiz.. i really miss u like nuts ar dear dear.. haiz.. can time go faster.. since u called me n sae u r leavin le.. e time seems to hab slowed down a dozen.. haiz.. and u have jus left like less den an hour ago.. haiz.. I MISS U.. if onli time stopped when we were slpin tt time.. and we will never wake up... if onli..

surprise

2006-05-11T03:21:00.000+08:00

wow.. zhen hong msged me todae.. haha.. din tok to him at all eva since e popular book fair.. haha.. den i gave him angie's num n angie msged me.. lOL.. haha.. glad to noe ttthey are all fine.. haha..

maple todae.. nw lv 37 le.. haha.. dear lv gonna b 59 le.. haha.. he oso chiongin before he leave for Kl.. hmm.. miss him alot alot alot.. hmm.. but sun will come very fast.. keke.. n u will b back.. keke.. rem my present ar... haha..

rach.. fri wan to go where..? LOl.. hmm.. kbox..? keke.. haha.. den ask ur lao gong to come along... LOl.. wan..? den it'll b e first time we go together.. haha.. miss ya lots too.. huggies..

tired

2006-05-10T02:17:00.000+08:00

tired.. tired.. tired.. tired.. tired..

haha.. todae slept for onli 4 hrs in e morning.. LOL.. haha.. mummy called me up at 10 when she come hm.. haha.. she hab off todae.. cos she hab to go make her passport.. haha.. so daddy take over her stall and e auntie is at dad's stall.. hmm..

we took a cabbie to lorong ah soo there to collect e car at e toyota care centre.. cos mummy bring it there for servicing.. and she paid like 600 bucks for it.. hmm.. den we go make her passport.. den she gotta go collect iton e 15.. haha.. den we go hougang mall e hans to but cakes and go hawker buy lunch.. haha..

goin one month with dear on e 18 le.. hmm.. and dear goin KL on thurs le.. haiz.. sad.. i will miss him alot ar.. haiz.. im already missin him.. din see dear for like 1 dae le.. hmm.. n we will onli b meetin when he returns.. cos he will bz with his stuffs.. hmm.. dear, i miss u.. hmm.. *sobs*

yippie.. goin out with rachel on fri.. hmm.. one good thing tts happenin.. haha.. at least with rachel, i'll gt distracted a little from missin dear too much.. hmm.. i soooo stupid!! fri is public hol ar.. n i still ask rach go out with me aft sch tt dae.. LOL.. think i really laggin frm sch liao.. hmmm..

thots

2006-05-09T04:09:00.000+08:00

some ppl thinkings are really weird.. i really have no idea wad they wan n wad they are tryin to showcase thru their actions.. sometimes, they seems so far far childish den who they really are suppose to be.. but nevertheless.. they are still human and we have to forgive for their misgivings.. right?? some ppl may know hu i am talkin abt.. and i jus hope tt they will jus be enlightened one dae by their own misdeeds and realise that they are jus being hopelessly silly..

rachel.. i sae correct right?? LOL.. haha.. wad a nice start man.. lOL.. haha.. love tis entry.. haha..

lv in maple again.. wahaha.. 1 lv in 4 hrs.. LOl.. haha.. ok la.. for my standard.. is kinda fast liao.. haha.. my frens all noe i like to take my own time de.. keke..

haha.. mummy ask if i hab spend up all my money liao nt.. hhaa.. i sae i left onli bout 100.. LOL.. she sill sae:" try to control ar.." haha.. she seems happy tt im using my money more often den hers nw.. haha.. mayb i've "grown up".. keke..

tis morning dear came over.. we both slept.. haha.. he was stayin up at his fren's n im stayin up for maple last night.. haha.. so we both slept till dunno wad time when my aunt n mom called.. LOL.. haha.. den my aunt sae my sister come hm le.. hmm.. i ask dear, he sae ya.. my sis entered e room when we were asleep.. hhaa.. i din noe at all la.. LOL.. stupid me.. haha.. den dear was so pai seh when he leave e house cos my sister brought her frens hm to do homework.. LOL.. my sis still ask.. i thot u were slpin.. hw come ur bf is here.. LOL.. haha.. such naive girls.. keke.. don noe we were slpin together ar.. LOL..

rachel.. tis fri aft ur sch.. u wanna meet up ma..??

attitude

2006-05-07T03:00:00.000+08:00

hmm.. finially.. im no longer workin for philips.. i quited.. haha.. fcukin dufry.. they sucks.. wth.. stupid.. next time i go holidae.. i make sure i'll go to e shop n give him a fcukin hard time lo..

met ben todae.. before i go out with gu-gu, ivan n mei mei.. gu-gu got e phone i wan.. e N80.. haiz.. so nice.. haha.. i oso wan.. gotta wait till next yr den can gt it liao.. haha.. hope next yr.. some more will come out.. haha.. den we go gelare for tea time.. hab waffles n ice cream.. nicey nicey.. haha.. den went to ah ma hse for dinner.. she cooked alot ar.. gt curry chicken.. wow.. mei mei love it lo.. haha..

tml gonna go ps with ai ping.. goin to gt some stuffs frm spotlight to make gu-gu's bdae card.. haha.. gonna shop ard for mom n dad's present.. hmm.. dunno wad to buy ar.. ai ping sae wanna buy a couple bracelet for them cos daddy wan a bracelet.. den might as well gt a pair lo.. haiz.. i oso dunno ar.. hmm..

played maple todae.. a guild approached me.. hmm.. i accepted.. hmm.. will quit when rachel tt side is able to accept me in le.. hmm.. cos i lvl too low.. den will pull their guild down.. haha.. so.. wait till i lv 40 den can enter lo.. keke..

phew

2006-05-05T00:20:00.000+08:00

hmm.. decided to quit le.. wahaha.. don wanna work there with those idiots animore.. don wanna lose my cool cos of them.. hmm..

told dear hw im feelin lately.. hmm.. and i hope he truly understands e kinda insecurity im facing.. cosof tt bastard.. sorry dearie..

dunno wad to write.. hmm.. lvl up in maple le.. 34 nw.. hope can 35 soon.. den can wear new glove n hat.. den 38 can hold fairy wand le.. wanna lv fast fast den can go back to e guild n train with dearie..

dearie goin NS le.. 7 june.. wonder wad im gonna do.. but aft e first 2wks.. we can meet on weekends le.. hope to spend more time with him first before he go KL next fri.. rem to buy PRESENTS for me ar.. =p

sweet n bitter

2006-05-03T00:37:00.000+08:00

life seems to b playin a prank on me ar..

rach n sebas argued.. haiz.. dunno ar.. i don wanna care liao.. jus leave it as it is..

rach!! e person hu scold lizzie on her blog is her fren fang lo.. LOL.. i go see e I.P addy.. its e same la... its nt e first time she did tis.. i rem last time she oso gt do e same thing... wonder wad e hell she is tryin to do ar...

met dear dear todae.. n we are goin to watch mission impossible 3 tml at bishan.. haha.. hope e movie will b a bash... not something bored like some previous one.. LOL.. haha..

fcuk dufry... damn dennis.. wah lau... name so much like a girl's lo.. wth.. don hab e right to sae me lo.. serve u right.. nobody in e company likes u la bastard... fcuk.. tok on e phone 10 mins.. cannot.. ppl disappear for 1 hr den come back can.. fcuk u la.. wah lao.. tulan lo.. ARGH!!!! don let me catch u tokin on e phone for nuts lo.. if not i make sure i go customer service centre n borrow their microphone n report over e audio speaker lo.. LOL.. wahaha.. [ sorry for all e fcuk things.. hmmm.. i kinda need to vent my anger.. wahaha.. pai seh.. ]

dear dear... i miss u..

irritating

2006-05-01T00:28:00.000+08:00

so much things happened...

to rach::

i noe tt alot of things happened to u.. but pls don let all tt affect u can ma?? i wanna see tt face full of smiles n hopes k?? i wan to see e happy n confidence rachel.. u noe u noe?? hmmm.. miss u alot.. gonna see u tml le.. u beta use e hot pack ar.. hope its useful...

to lao gong::

left 2 more daes le.. kinda scared of things may take an unfortunate turn of events.. haiz.. don let tt happen hao ma?? mr yeo...?? miss u lots lots lots...

changed song

2006-04-30T04:50:00.000+08:00

haha.. i changed song again.. hmm.. to everytime we touch.. LOL.. by cascada.. e one hu sang miracle.. haha.. thou its like techno ar.. but.. to me, it carries a meanin in e lyrics.. hope u guys love it too.. hehe.. =p

todae sales at work is good ar.. e best since im there.. LOL.. haha.. but still ne gd enough.. haha.. cos its CHANGI AIRPORT!! lol.. lame lo.. wah lao.. its like e sales is gd le la.. but shirley sae its not.. wth.. haiz.. gotta wk harder.. hmm.. but feel so sian n slpy lo.. so everytime she nt there.. i'll go eat snake.. hmm.. if nt when she come, i hab to keep walkin ard.. haiz.. like a wanderin ghost lo.. sad sia.. haiz..

last night played maple with dear.. but im really tired.. so i slept.. den i leeched him.. he train.. haha.. i tell him i'll b back an hour later.. haha.. den he train me till 42% lo.. haha.. bo bian.. his lvl much higher den mine ar.. haiz.. so no choice lo.. haha.. todae he go out.. but nv stay out.. so went hm.. haha.. good boy.. keke.. =p

went to west coast todae.. first time there.. hmm.. meet walter, ewen n sam.. haha.. sam is so nice.. she walked me to e road when im leavin.. haha.. and she gave me a goodbye hug.. haha.. toked to sire sebas on e way there.. haha.. den i arrived early n its like stupid ar.. hmm.. so i practically walked all over e place.. hmm.. but eplace there is nice.. i love it.. keke..

ps.. Sire. Sebas, i miss callin u.. xxxxx xxxx... keke.. xp

sian

2006-04-27T23:13:00.000+08:00

todae played maple.. den argued with a bastard inside.. cant tolerate tt kinda ppl animore.. jus his luck tt im not happy with his attitude ba.. LOL.. haha..

todae go wk onli for 3hrs.. but sold of a number of products.. so not too bad.. haha..

dear dear todae sick.. haiz.. poor thing.. eat panadol den slp le.. wonder hw is he.. miss him..

rachel, jia you jia you.. i believe tt u guys can overcome anything.. =p

haiz

2006-04-27T00:25:00.000+08:00

haiz... todae sales no good!! LOL.. no ppl at all.. den i leave at 10pm.. wahaha.. 1 hr earlier.. nvm ar.. kenneth tml help me punch in earlier.. keke.. =p

changed my song.. actually wanna put in Backstreet Boys, No One Else Comes Close.. but e input gt prob.. lol.. haha.. so gotta put in another song.. hmm. sad sad nah... haiz..

rach.. wads wrong?? hmm.. wad happened..? haiz.. worry bout u ar.. so long nv see u liao.. miss u ar.. hmmm.. muz take care kk.. den one dae, we go out together.. muz ar.. anything, call me.. even if im workin.. i oso will tok to u.. if its realli terrible.. i'll rush out to find u kk.. muz take care.. sch start le.. gonna hab more n more homework le.. u need to stay healthy yah.. miss ya..

blurr

2006-04-26T01:11:00.000+08:00

todae my senior nv wk.. so ended up im e onli promoter.. LOL.. hmm.. tml she oso off.. gonna ask kenneth to punch in for me.. den i can go off earlier too.. wahaha.. todae they all go off early early.. so good nor.. leave me alone.. hmm.. eric was e last to leave.. haha.. tml still gotta wk ill 11.. but i hope i can leave earlier.. wahaha.. think i'll go down bout 1 tml ar.. ask kenneth to punch in 12 for me.. den i leave bout 8 or 9.. wahaha.. xp

sians.. over there e things like so ex lo.. even if we buy things frm e duty free shop, oso need pay tax unless u r able to provide a flight number.. lol.. haha.. so next time need tyco tyco liao.. pretend to b a passenger.. LOL..

so messy

2006-04-25T01:43:00.000+08:00

haiz.. feelin so messy ar.. i dunno wad to do.. everything seems to b wired wrongly.. haiz.. is everything goin really ok for me? is he really here with me? or is he jus an illusion? y is things happenin tis way? haiz... wads wrong with me??

first day

2006-04-25T00:02:00.000+08:00

first dae workin at e airport.. wahaha.. hmm.. kinda stress at e start with auntie shirley ard.. but aft she left, im ok le.. haha.. noe some new ppl todae.. a girl n a boi.. e girl is zaine and e guy kenneth (y do i seem to noe so mani kenneth.. LOL..).. haha.. zaine last dae on sat n kenneth mayb quitin anytime.. haha.. so sad.. cos e rest of e ppl there hab attitude with e capital A!! lol.. haha.. they suck.. i mean those girls at e night shift ar.. haiz.. sad sad.. zaine is in charge of e ipod stuffs and kenneth is at my area.. toked to him e whole night.. lol.. haha.. cos he is e onli one i can tok to there i suppose.. lol.. haha.. so we practically stand together throughout lo.. den we went of together oso.. onli parted at e police guard hse cos he goin mrt n im goin bus.. wahaha..

tml gonna start wk at 3.. ends at 11.. hmm.. hope tml goes well lo.. but will b alone for sometime ba.. cos dunno wad time kenneth will b leavin.. hmm..

i miss u...........

haiz

2006-04-23T04:55:00.000+08:00

4.53 a.m..

i m thinkin of u

where r u

r u safe

i m missin u

missin u too much

nth can replace u in my heart right nw....

thankies

2006-04-22T22:01:00.000+08:00

when did tis new blog skin for me.. she input jay's Shan Hu Hai into it.. bw i've changed it to Karyn White's Superwoman.. e original singer of tis song.. haha.. nt bad nah.. hmm.. mayb will change to other songs in future.. haha..

went for dinner tonight with my family.. even thou its jus a normal meal in hougang hawker, nt expensive but it carries a huge meaning for me.. cos its a frewell dinner for my dad.. he is goin thai tml le.. hmm.. will miss him.. thou we don tok.. but, i somehow will miss him.. wish him bon voyage.. tml when he is leavin, nobody will b at e airport with him xcept for his frens.. cos mama will b workin.. den i don think he will allow me n my sis to b there..

fell down todae.. bled a little on my left knee.. hope it'll recover soon..

....

2006-04-21T22:50:00.000+08:00

....

dunno wads wrong..

feelin flustered..

my heart is messed up..

i only know..

i miss u..

i onli wan to b with u..

jerky

2006-04-21T21:34:00.000+08:00

woke up very early todae.. cos ah ma came over to clean up e hse with e new maid.. hmmm.. denw oke me up at 9.30.. really nt enough slp ar.. haiz.. think i gotta go down causeway tml liao.. daddy goin to thailand on sundae for e bowling tournament liao.. hope all goes well for him.. *pray pray*.. haiz.. hope he is able to do well for e tournament tis time round..

went for e trainin todae.. lol.. onli 1hr.. haha.. den its like i waited for Ivy for like half n hour.. haha.. aft tt come hm lo.. wanna go shop shop alone de.. but kinda sian.. so i jus take cabby hm lo.. haiz..

miss dear dear alot.. dunno.. jus nw he sae he wanna study again aft NS.. den its like i ask him where.. he sae mayb goin overseas.. i don wan him to go ar.. haiz.. if he really go.. den its like one yr can onli meet hw mani times? haiz.. i don wan, don wan, don wan, don wan, don wan....

dunno wad to do lo.. haiz.. go sha or saa? haiz.. if onli e answer can drop frm e sky.. if onli....

house rules

2006-04-20T23:58:00.000+08:00

haha.. argued with yp again cos of responsibilities.. haiz.. den i was so fed up tt i went to make a new set of house rules.. and i make sure they abide by it.. cos i definitely will.. well, e new rules are simple.. e 3 of them jus hab to iron their own clothes everydae.. its a must.. and i'll settle my parents n mine.. i don care liao.. its time for tt freak to know wad responsibilities are.. she ironed her own uniform todae aft e rules got into effect.. and guess wad.. i used like 20 mins to settle all my parents n my clothes and she like used 30 mins to settle her 2 sets of uniform.. wad e fcuk.. and when my mom ask her wad she doin.. she act pathetic in front of her.. fcuker.. no wonder nobody wants her.. still sae i fail my o's.. fcuk ar.. sae wad," u fil ur o levels lo.. don speak so loud lo.. engish fail still dare to speak like tt.." FCUK.. when did my english fail.. freako.. at least i got into o's.. in express stream.. she leh.. wah lao.. in NA lo.. wonder if she will eva sit for e o's anot lo.. tok so much.. useless monkey..

mapled todae ar.. lvl up liao.. wahah.. trained till lvl 28 tis noon.. den jus nw i trained till lvl 29.. haha.. nw tryin to up to 30.. hope to reach tt lvl by tonight den can gt my second job.. wahaa.. dear dear trained with me.. remember tt time when i lvl liao.. he sae he onli trained 2% up.. lol.. aha..

goin for trainin tml at phillips.. lol.. haha.. i dunno hw to spell sia.. dunno is phillips or philips.. haha.. but anyway.. nvm.. i noe hw to pronounce can liao.. wahaha.. tml report at 4pm.. so means can slp later.. on sat den i go get my clothes.. haha.. yippie.. got my pay le.. abt $670.. not bad.. lol.. with one n a half dae off.. haha.. kk.. i go off liao.. mayb later den blog..

sad

2006-04-19T14:15:00.000+08:00

e past seems to be so much more alluring compared to e present.. i muz sae it carries innocent and happy memories tt i don find it in me nowadaes.. no longer havin e feelin of being e eldest child.. onli havin e feelin of an abandon kid.. mayb time will pass n it will tell.. its not tt im nt happy nw.. im happy nw.. with my dear dear n my frens ard me.. y wont i be.. but, apart from them, i think i need happiness from e other factor as well..

nth happened.. jus hab to go get some black pants n 2 red polos.. need them during work there.. haha.. gotta go out shop again liao.. wonder if ron has actually settled my things for me.. i need my pay.. LOL.. haha.. wanna go gt some stuffs..

wth is e world goin on.. haiz.. ai ping's phone is stolen.. those bastards out there.. they really noe hw to choose phone lo.. her's is definitely a good one in e market now la.. freaks.. k 750i.. wah lao.. den she go tell her sch.. they don care a damn fcuk lo.. so she cleverly ended up went to e police station n reported e case.. wahaha.. hope tt fcuker gt caught.. bastard... hope he jus walks onto e road and gts hit by a car..

OMG!!

2006-04-18T17:00:00.000+08:00

wad e hell.. i jus realise tt e Jean that Nichole told me is most probably desmond's gf.. tt SON of a BITCH.. remember e guy tt stole my phone.. my ex bf.. wahaha.. fcuker.. nw he n e jean together liao.. LOL.. saw him at expo ma.. when i was workin there.. but when i first saw him, i cant confirm tt he is tt fcuker.. but, aft he kept turnin to look at me from afar.. i am CERTAIN tt he is e one.. wah lau.. arshole.. bastard.. but ended up he got lost in e crowd.. cant seems to trace him down.. haiz.. forget it..

got e philips job le.. so e best denki job = philips company.. LOL.. and tt jean is wkin for them too.. but its GOOD tt we are not in e same outlet.. wahaha.. i workin at e airport from nw on.. keke.. happy..

argued with LOW YU PING todae.. tt freak.. dunno hw to do anything.. LOL.. ask her to hang clothes.. she hang till luan qi ba zhao.. haiz.. den she left home quietly to e underground shop.. watched her back when she went into e shop.. haiz.. i dunno y.. but when i see her walk like tt.. my emotions overwhelm me.. haiz.. i jus don wanna argue with my sisters anymore.. i wan to go back to how we had been when we were kids.. when we were so close together.. when they jus listen to wad i have to sae.. when nothing can tear us apart....

*miss u sosososososososo much!!*

u and me

2006-04-18T01:50:00.000+08:00

err.. think i got too mani post up previously.. haha.. will delete away de.. don worry.. hmmm..

todae is Darren's bdae n oso e dae whereby we get together.. LOL.. i dunno wad e future will behold for us.. but i'll treasure every single moment i have with you.. i jus hope that all things will turn out jus fine for both of us.. i really really do.. i do not wan anything to change us anymore.. let us stay as we are ok? love ya..

18 april 2006

2006-04-18T00:06:00.001+08:00

todae rach changed my blog skin for me liao.. wahaha.. happy happy.. thanks girl.. and thanks shi hui for helpin "chat" in my tag board.. haha.. so sweet of u guys.. LOL.. haha.. u guys ganna go back to sch next week le.. take care ar.. jia you kk.. ^-^

finished e sunseeds assignment.. think i gonna help nichole in e best denki roadshow.. haha.. cool.. first time workin in tis kinda shop..haha.. hope that all will get well.. mayb goin down SIM to check out some courses.. haha.. den see if im qualified for it anot lo.. hmm.. hope i am.. ( pray pray ).. LOL..

tired ar.. so much happened lately.. hmm.. bad things n stuff.. jus hope that things will turn for the better once this whole bad atmosphere is dispersed.. haiz.. goin out with the nutties n jackson on labours' dae.. haha.. hope jackson is able to get off dae man.. LOL.. or else he sure suffer.. wahaha.. =p bad right..? LOL..

9 april 2006

2006-04-09T23:43:00.000+08:00

well, wked todae.. losta great news.. i'll b like wkin alone frm 10 till 9 tml lo.. haiz.. cos everybody off n i hab to wk.. lol.. haha..

todae.. ended work.. den its like i buy some muffins hm.. haiz.. but guess wad.. e fcukin dm.. sae i steall it.. fcuk her ar.. don see other dm like her lo.. kp here kp there.. jus cos i nt CS staff.. freakos.. jus hate it.. haha.. gonna tell e csm tt i nt gonna take up e job animore.. tis place sucks..

8 april 2006

2006-04-08T01:26:00.000+08:00

tired tired tired.. shag sia.. haha.. maplin all e way lately.. haha.. my noobie is now lvl 24.. 50% more to go.. wah.. think i wanna bia my noob to lvl 25 den i can start doin e quest by todae.. lol.. haha.. sian sia.. nth to do nor.. hmm..

den todae wk.. boss gt come down.. haha.. den he pei me tok tok.. cos daisy received her letter to poly n its denied.. haiz.. y lately things been happening to us.. haiz.. bad things all come together.. haiz.. nth gd seems to b comin out lately.. hope things will change frm nw on to e beta.. haiz..

rach called me todae.. sae gt free tics to e choir concert.. i was wondering hw come i todae den noe when e concert is actually tml.. so its actually someone din tell me bout it.. haiz.. disappointed manx.. but nvm.. i still goin out with her tml.. wahaha.. we gonna shopping.. haha.. gonna walk ard all over.. lol.. leave our foor steps all over da place.. woohoo..

4 april 2006

2006-04-04T23:41:00.000+08:00

todae is e fourth n i've nt even "ANNOUNCED" me denial to my family yet.. haiz.. i decided to make up my mind b4 i inform them of e news.. i decided to apply for CAT n den proceed to ACCA to study.. told Ethan bout it.. n he kinda encourage me to go for it ar.. since i don wan to go for ite.. n when i proceed to ACCA.. he will also enter with me.. cos he wanna gt tt cert too.. hmm.. at least gt him to teach me along e way.. i feel better..

hab my basic theory test todae.. n i failed.. think i really no energy to go do e test ar.. onli slept for like 3 hrs last night cos gotta wait for mom n dad to come hm.. where gt e energy to concentrate.. haiz.. den gotta retake next month lo.. hope it'll b all pass e 2nd time..

lately, work is kinda sucky ar.. we all no mood at all.. last night din even sell one bottle.. luckily tonight i sold quite alot.. haha.. so its gd.. made e sales for e dae.. wahaha.. hapi hapi..

3 april 2006

2006-04-03T23:54:00.000+08:00

todae is e 3rd.. e dae i receive tp's letter.. im denied an admission.. at tt moment.. i jus feel sucky.. totally.. din hab e strength to take a bus to wk.. so i took a cab.. n i cried in it.. when i reached novena.. i told daisy n we eventually analysed things out.. she told me tt ppl actually use dispicable methods to enter poly n i jus din noe of it.. haiz.. ppl sucks out there.. haiz.. single pointers oso enter poly.. think enter poly liao den enter uni very easy.. they dreamin lo.. fcuk them ar.. if u wan enter uni.. go straight to jc la.. gib tt space to someone hu needs it more compared to u.. freakos.. everything seems to b crushing down.. hab not told my family yet.. wan to avoid some naggings n forcings..

ytd, daisy broke up with justin.. but its obvious tt she still loves him.. its him hu played her out.. he eventually declares tt he is single to another girl n daisy is known to it.. haiz.. poor thing.. cried her heart out ytd at wk.. n well, she cried all out todae as well.. if onli guys are not playful n are willin to stop playin n foolin ard.. there will b hardly any girls out there tt will b upset over love.. if onli they are willin to give out their heart n b faithful..

*miss tokin to u soooo much..do u noe?*

2 april 2006

2006-04-02T23:12:00.000+08:00

started workin for sunseeds ytd.. hmm.. $6/hr.. n jus hab to stand there n do nth unless customers approach.. so nt bad ar.. hahaz.. workin frm 2-10pm.. night shift at novena square..

ytd.. gerald sent me hm.. so not too bad.. haha.. den todae gotta go hm on my own lo.. lol.. hmm.. haha.. den tired ar.. slept on my way back..

fckin hell.. jus realise tt freaks are all ard me.. fcukers.. bastards.. so mani ar.. uncountable.. they can come in all shapes n sizes.. i m SO DISAPPOINTED in guys.. soSOsoSoso disappointed..

1 april 2006

2006-04-01T03:40:00.000+08:00

APRIL FOOLS' DAY!! haha.. first of april liao.. well well, jus reach hm frm a ride in my fren's bike.. haha.. second time takin a ride frm a bike.. kinda scared in e startin.. aft tt.. its ok le.. e wind is so freakin cold n strong ar.. haha.. lucky i wear jacket.. poor him, he jus wear t-shirt.. LOL.. haha..

went to pasir ris beach to look at sth first.. den aft tt we go harbour front but 'drink' den we sat down n drink till like.. 3 am and my phone ring.. hmm.. mummy called.. she ended bowlin early todae.. hmm.. n she kinda like fcuk me over e phone for being hm so late.. so i told him n he rushed me hm.. haha.. reached hm by 3.25.. lucky i nv drink.. i onli see him drink.. or else i think im unable to gt hm in time lo.. haha..

*miss those gd old times...*

31 mrach 2006

2006-03-31T03:41:00.000+08:00

tok to mummy jus now.. told her about e fact tt i may not b able to enter tp frm e jae thingy.. told her tt i may not be able to enter.. cos of all e points thingy.. n i told her tt i may wan to enter TP's part time courses.. take up e para-legal course.. she is alright with it.. cool.. think im knowin wad i wanna do now.. hope tt im really able to enter poly.. really hope to enter ar..

31 march 2006

2006-03-30T23:41:00.000+08:00

last dae of e month.. suddenly remember tt when i actually created tis account.. i was with aloysious.. haha.. no wonder i see his name all over my acc.. lol.. wonder hw is he right now.. hmm.. but.. its no longer my business n so i shall not care abt it anymore..

have been enjoyin my life now.. at least, i do not have another set of burden in my mind.. haha.. unlike e past when i have HE's probs on top of my probs.. haha.. if onli i m able to find someone when i can put MY probs on him instead of HE's on mine.. haha.. den i think tt is e time when i've found someone reliable..

so mani ppl ard me havin relationship probs.. e reality is always so much more hurtful cmpared to e dreamworld..

i jus wan to find someone i can rely on..someone whom i can truly open my heart to..

*being happy is all i wan when im with u*

30 march 2006

2006-03-30T04:01:00.001+08:00

hmm.. almost e end of e month.. n i've nt gotten any presents for e twins.. oh shyt.. startin to feel tt im gonna b dead.. haha..

gonna sign a new line with starhub.. need a new phone n a new line for me to curb my smses.. its really gettin out of hand.. gosh.. think i REALLY REALLY gotta control myself liao.. haha..

*getting out of hand.. missin u..*

30 march 2006

2006-03-30T04:01:00.000+08:00

29 march 2006

2006-03-29T02:14:00.000+08:00

e whole world is filled with lotsa fcukin ppl......